tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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