Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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