Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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