Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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