quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
