i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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