dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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