Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
