I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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