During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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