Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
