those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can you repeat that, but with context?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
