Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
