Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
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I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.