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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  of course. lets lasso hookers.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?

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• (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?

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