mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌