so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?