he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...