it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.