Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee

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(248): You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee http://tfl.nu/or77

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(914): View more from New York

Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way. http://tfl.nu/3diq

Replies (49) Good night (3756) Bad night (1184)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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(201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs

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(201): View more from New Jersey

zippers are such a cool invention

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(201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh

Replies (29) Good night (4681) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.

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(206): All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came. http://tfl.nu/je3h

Replies (8) Good night (4341) Bad night (773)
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(516): View more from New York

the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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(516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3

Replies (3) Good night (2004) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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(239): View more from Florida

i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.

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(239): i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose. http://tfl.nu/xxid

Replies (6) Good night (781) Bad night (2469)
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(949): View more from California

He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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(949): He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do. http://tfl.nu/7uqv

Replies (10) Good night (1990) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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(617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb

Replies (7) Good night (2739) Bad night (543)
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(217): View more from Illinois

my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever

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(217): my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever http://tfl.nu/bp5q

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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(704): She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason. http://tfl.nu/coul

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

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(304): I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything. http://tfl.nu/5k96

Replies (16) Good night (1368) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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(760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.

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(570): I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended. http://tfl.nu/azds

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(858): View more from California

The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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(858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1

Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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