She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
