sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
