I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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