if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
