dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
