remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
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Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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