yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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