3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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