You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
