he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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