Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
