She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
