I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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