Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
