He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
