Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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