Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
