o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
