Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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