I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize