I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
