can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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