i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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