I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
