the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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