Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
