I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize