Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
