her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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