I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
