I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you had me at cake vodka
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
