OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize