I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
