The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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