Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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