That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
