He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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