a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
