how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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