i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
