his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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