you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
