Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
