So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
